Holy Sex: 6 Ways To Create Intimacy With Your Spouse..

I have no earthly idea why SEX is such a bad word in the Church. It seems as though everybody gets embarrassed and nobody wants to talk about it. I am not saying that you need to tell everyone about your personal business, but I am saying that sex needs to be talked about in a Godly sense. You need intimacy daily with your spouse …just as you need intimacy daily with God.

1 Corinthians 7:5 (NIV)

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Sex is a beautiful holy act meant for married couples. God created sex for much more than just procreation. Intimacy with your spouse brings you both together into an experience of Sacred Holy Sex. Each and everytime you make love with your spouse, you are being obedient to God and what he requires of you in a marriage. This is a time for bonding not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and yes, spiritually…

When you join together as one focusing on each other and each other’s needs, that truly pleases God. The devil is in fact intimidated by love connections strong in marriages and this is because if you are daily taking time to make love with your spouse and their needs are being met, then the devil cannot use the worldly desires to come between the two of you.

  • The devil wants to tempt you both with the things of this world
  • The devil will try to break the marriage bond by making you think that your spouse cannot meet your needs!


1. You are not pretty/handsome enough.

2. You are not skinny enough.

3. You are not good enough for your spouse.

4. Your body does not please your spouse.

5.Nobody is looking if you want to get on that site again..your spouse will never know.

6. He/She can meet your needs that your spouse cannot meet.

7. He/She does not appreciate you.

8. He/She does not respect you.

9. He/She will do all the things your spouse won't do.

10. You should be jealous of what their marriage has that yours does not.

11. You do not measure up.

12. There just is not enough time in my day to fit sex in.

13. I am just too tired to make love.

14. My kids need me more than my spouse does.

15. He/She does not help you around the house or give you praise when you do.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Sex is a form of communication with your spouse. You are saying with your actions that they are important to you, you are putting their needs above your own needs, and you are creating a trust that will bond you both together like the strongest super glue.

When BOTH spouses needs are being met, you will not have to worry about outside forces such a porn being brought into your marriage. When you and your spouse experience sex as a truly HOLY & SACRED ACT, you will not have to worry about your spouse seeking attention from others and you will not have to worry about what they are doing when they are on their phone all of the time.

You will also not have feelings towards each other such as anger, sadness, loneliness,  bitterness, hurt, or pain because as a couple you will be on the same page meeting each other’s needs. You will begin to communicate in a whole new and improved way. Your spouse will go out of their way to meet your needs, once you go out of your way to meet theirs.


It is a blessing to be able to come into a time of intimacy with your soulmate and the person that God has placed you with. There should never be any kind of excuse given to not have sex with your spouse. I do understand that at times one or the other spouse may have a higher or lower sex-drive and this can be for many reasons, but even though this may be true, you still have to think of their needs above your own. 

You have to get to the root of the problem and answer these key questions.

Do you know what your spouse’s love language is?

Am I respecting and loving my spouse for who they are?

Are you meeting each other’s emotional needs first?

Is my spouse treating me a certain way because their needs are not being met?

Is my sex drive higher or lower than my spouses?

Talk about the answers to these questions and pray about how you can meet any and all of the needs of your spouse.

I know that I get told this a lot, “I just do not have the same sex drive as my spouse…”

So, if you are the one with a HIGHER sex drive and your spouse has the LOWER sex drive or vice versa, try maybe spicing things up a bit and go out of your way to make sure that all of your spouse’s needs are being met. That includes emotional needs and support. If your spouse seems stressed at work and overwhelmed, offer them a Massage, run a hot bath for them, encourage them by talking with them about how you can help them, Or maybe your spouse does not feel confident with themselves and you may need to step up your game with positive affirmations.

It is ok to text your spouse something flirty and something that will boost their self-confidence. Or better yet, flirt with them throughout the whole entire day! I mean we all want to be told that we “still got it” and who better to hear that from other than our spouses?

Am I right?

By doing these things your sexual needs will also be met. You have to get to the point to where you “crave” each other and you cannot go a day without being with each other. This kind of attraction for your spouse is ELECTRIC! When you step into this kind of intimacy with your spouse, you will be on the same page in life and you will want nothing more other than to be in each other’s presence.

It is kind of like your relationship with God. The more you seek him and soak in his presence creating intimacy with him the closer to him you will become. You are called to have those intimate moments with your spouse just as you need intimate moments alone with God…

6 Ways To Create Intimacy With Your Spouse…







I promise you that by doing these things, you will see a huge difference in your marriage just by simply making love more often. You will laugh more, you will become better friends and you will experience what sex in marriage is truly meant to be..Intimate...Sacred & Holy.


(To read more about Sacred Sex, I highly recommend this amazing book. I actually did the study at our Church with a group of women. )

*this post contains amazon affliliate links and you can click the link at no cost to you.

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32 thoughts on “Holy Sex: 6 Ways To Create Intimacy With Your Spouse..”

  1. Amen!! I meet with so many Christian couples that are struggling in the area of sexual intimacy. Some where along they line its purpose got skewed! Sex should not be drudgery. It is not just for men to enjoy. It is a beautiful gift from God! Thank you for addressing this often skipped over topic.

    1. I completely agree with you! I cannot understand why some try to look past this very subject as if the word “Sex” is so taboo. Intimacy is so very important!! Have a blessed week 🙂

  2. Very well written and very good points. People just can’t seem to get over themselves and put their spouse first. I know because for a time i didn’t do it in the beginning of my marriage. Thanks for the reminder

    1. Thank you so very much!! I do not understand why this happens either, so glad you were encouraged today!

  3. Thank you. Very well said. I believe this will help strengthen my new marriage and keep our relationship stronger throughout anything.

    1. Thank you for reading!!! So glad you were encouraged and many blessings to you and your hubby on your marriage!

  4. Loved this! And it’s great timing for me…two kids under 4 means not a lot of alone time and even less of a priority for me. Thanks for the reminder that this needs to be a focus for the health of my marriage.

  5. You bring out a lot of great truths here to help with intimacy. My hubby and I have been married for 23 years and we still love to go out on dates. So many couples are not even making a priority to spend time together anymore. Satan would love nothing better than to destroy your marriage.

    1. Satan wants to destroy, I agree!!! Thank you so much for stopping by to read! Have a blessed week!

  6. I know so many Christian marriages where the woman is being harmed and degraded sexually. Some even have permanent damage to their bodies because of what their husband has done to cause them to suffer while gratifying their own greed. Preachers need to address from the pulpit that the marriage bed is to be one of mutual delight and love, not a torture chamber.

    1. That is absolutely horrible and I know that these awful things happen. Sex was not meant for that purpose and obviously, God is not in those marriages. If you put God first in your marriage, you will know what that sex is meant to be a holy gift from God. HAve a blessed week!

  7. You CAN get an AMEN, Girl!! I wish sex wasn’t so taboo in the church! I honestly believe that if it was spoken about in a more spiritual way and not “SEX IS BAD”, I think we would have lasting marriages! I actually needed this conviction! I needed my heart to feel a bit ashamed at the neglect I’ve shown intimacy! Thank you for your encouragement! <3

  8. All I can say is Amen! Thanks for being brave enough to talk about sex in the marriage. You’re right we don’t speak on it much and God did in fact create it! Awesome 📪!

    1. Thank you so much! I know that some do not like to talk about sex, but God created it and it is so very important in marriage. Have a blessed week!

  9. Such great points here . That Devil can sure whisper some dirty lies and stray us away from a sacred Marriage.
    Intimacy should never be lost until death and it is so important for every married couples to know this .

    1. Yes, the devil sure does and I agree that intimacy should never be lost. Have a blessed week!

  10. Great reminder and ways to be intimate. It’s so easy to be married to your spouse every day but we also need to BE married to the one we love. 🙂

  11. LOVE this. Sometimes my husband and I struggle with the whole sex thing, and this is a great reminder that Jesus needs to be at the center of our intimacy with one another. When we are intimately connected with him, we will be intimately connected with each other as well! Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  12. I have to mention that every relationship is so unique that it really does take God’s involvement to keep strong and fruitful. He knows our uniqueness to the core: our history, our insecurities, our struggles with ourselves and our spouses. Go to Him for guidance and support when you have intimacy challenges and He will instill a deeper connection between you and your loved one!

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