Opened eyes: Building better relationships with our Husbands…

I will first start this out by saying that I am not the perfect wife. I only strive every single day to be the best wife that I can be and I still fall short some days. Over the years God has changed my perspective and opened my eyes to a few simple tips that may help your relationship with your husband.

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Sometimes we fail to see that our husbands still need attention. Often at times, I count my husband as one of my children, along with our dog, because they all fight for my attention. As wives and mothers, we are very busy human beings and there have been so many times at the end of the day that I have felt like I can’t do one more thing…

But our husbands need us too…

Not only do they need us, but they need us to be PRESENT! They need us to make them feel important and not like they are just another chore or check off to one of our checklists. We have to shut off our “mommy brains” in order to focus on the needs of our husbands. That need may not only be sexual, who am I kidding 99.999% of the time it is lol…but we all knew that. But if you actually decide to focus some much-needed one on one time with them, giving them your full attention, it will indeed turn out that they just want to spend some quality time with you and not share your attention with anyone else.

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Men are like grown children…true story!

If they are not receiving the proper amount of attention from you, they will pout, have temper tantrums and eventually find a new toy to play with and often times in marriages this eventually leads down a long road of destruction.

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~Secondly, your husband has feelings too. I know that this one is hard for some to accept, due to your husbands not exactly “showing” you that they have feelings. But I assure you that each and every one of them does.

The myth that men are unfeeling creates damaging relationship problems. ~Daphne Rose Kingma

Have you ever ignored your husband’s feelings, just because you felt that at the time they were irrelevant?

I know that I have failed at this on many occasions. My husband and I have been together for 17+ years. Throughout those years we have had our fair share of disagreements. Often at times, I would want him to see how I felt, but when it came to him explaining his feelings, I just could not understand how he could feel that way. Sound familiar?

It was like I could not accept that maybe I too had some issues that I needed to work out. So many times I would pray for God to change my husband’s heart when I was actually the one that needed the heart change. I needed to open my ears and truly listen to what my husband was explaining to me.

I had to understand that my husband’s feelings were just as important as mine, even though he had a weird way of expressing them, his feelings needed my acceptance.

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Your husband may express himself through anger or pride when in all actuality he is sad and vulnerable. Men may convert feminine feelings into more socially acceptable feelings for themselves just to show that they are manly. Part of the problem for some men may be that they have silenced their feelings for so long that they haven’t developed resources for handling them when they do arise. Such unplanned, unexpected emotion can often prove overwhelming. So they may react in a manner that you deem unacceptable, but that leads me to the third key point….Communication.


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How we communicate in our relationships is key to having a successful marriage.

Communication in a relationship is extremely important because it acts as the judge, jury, and executioner for who has the final say on whether your relationship lives or dies. Being able to communicate effectively can also stop needless arguments which occur regularly in your relationships.

If you have been together for a long while, you have probably had one or more arguments or disagreements. I mean I do not know of anyone that gets along 100% of the time and if you do, you must have some kind of super -power or you are quite frankly unicorns or something of that nature. All jokes aside, we all have faced difficult times communicating in our relationships.

Communication is not all about talking, it is having a passionate connection with the one that you love.


  1. Find the Right Time. If something is bothering you and you would like to have a conversation about it, it can be helpful to find the right time to talk. …
  2. Talk Face to Face. …
  3. Do Not Attack. …
  4. Be Honest. …
  5. Check Your Body Language. …
  7. Give each other time to talk and express feelings
  8. Do not judge one another for feeling a certain way
  9. Do not fight through text or emails, those can be misconstrued
  10. Openly agree to disagree
  11. Move past the hurt and focus on what truly matters


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Romans 15:7-Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Just as Christ has accepted us and all of our flaws, we are also called to accept our husbands just the same.


My husband has a tendency to do things that absolutely causes my skin to crawl. One of those many things is when he chews with his mouth open. Oh my goodness, it drives me up the wall!! I can not stand that sound at all coming from anyone, but when my husband does it, I go crazy on joke! I ask him calm and polite the first few times to close his mouth, but when he does not listen, I make terrible remarks to him.

I have had to accept him and all of the flaws that I do not like about him, just as he has about me. We are both a work in progress as most people are. I have had to ask my husband for forgiveness a million times because I constantly point out things he does that I do not like. Can any of you relate?

Why is it so easy for us to point out what everyone else does wrong, but we can not seem to look in the mirror and see what all we do wrong as well?

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We are not called to “throw stones” at our husbands because they are less than perfect. We have to learn to love “all” of them, including their flaws. We all have things we need to work on to improve our relationships. So build your relationship on a team effort and see how your relationship will improve drastically! It takes both partners in agreement to build each other up instead of tearing each other down…


PRAY ——>

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God opened my eyes several years ago about each of these key things. I know that by using each of these in my own marriage has made a great impact on my husband and myself.



Have a blessed day!

(Hugs) K.D. Russell