Never stop “DATING” your husband or wife: 20 Tips on how to reconnect.

I am not an expert on marriage, but I do know the struggles that we all face during our marriages. My husband and I have been together 17 years and married for almost 15 of those years. Marriage is not always easy, it is work! You have to constantly work on areas of your marriage to build a good strong relationship. Sometimes you are thrown off course and you forget exactly what might have brought you two together in the first place. You may feel as if you both are drifting apart and you have no idea which person has changed or if you both of you are changing in some ways. You need to reconnect with each other.

That is why you are to never stop “dating” your husband or wife.

This past weekend my husband and I left the kiddos with the grandparents and had a mini vacation together along with great friends. For several weeks we have been fighting constantly over everything. It has been as though we can not seem to agree on anything anymore. We were both allowing things out of our control to have an impact on our marriage. Sound familiar? We were not communicating correctly and 9 out of 10 times that causes an argument in its self. Am I right?

We had realized that we were not honoring our promise that we had made to each other several years ago about dating one another. We had not taken any time in several weeks to go out on our own. Life had gotten busy and we were not putting our needs first in our marriage.

How many of us know that the devil wants us to fuss and fight in order to break us apart? The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy everything, including marriages. 

 . (John 10:10)The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.

God has chosen for us to be together and we truly know that what we have is special and God ordained. That is why we decided we needed some time to get away and reconnect. We needed this time to date one another. We needed to have that reminder of what brought us together in the first place all those years ago.

Each marriage faces these hardships. I am sure we are not the only married couple to disagree. It is all in how you decide to approach your problems. Do you throw your marriage away or do you dig your heels in and fight to stay together?

My husband and I fight to stay together and I am thankful every single day that we do. This past weekend we laughed until we cried, we ate some of the best food without counting calories or carbs, we engaged in conversation without interruption, we turned our phones off and focused on each other. It was so wonderful to let our guards down and just be ourselves. We reconnected on such a deeper level just by dating one another again. It changed the way we communicated just by turning off the world around us in order to put our marriage health as a priority. If you are willing to fight, God will truly bless your marriage abundantly.

 Here are 20 tips to reconnect to your husband or wife:

  1. Have more sex
  2. Go on a date at least once a month or more
  3. Put your phones away during dinner and actually engage in conversation
  4. Appreciate one another and tell each other what you appreciate about them
  5. Send a positive text every day about something that you love about each other
  6. Compliment your husband or wife every single day
  7. Flirt with one another
  8. Build each other up daily/ encourage one another
  9. Be spontaneous
  10. Make each other laugh
  11. Do a chore for one another (example: take out the trash even if it is your husband’s job. Pick up the table after dinner even if it is your wife’s job)
  12. Watch a tv show or movie that you know is the other’s favorite
  13. Turn on the bathwater for the other one to show that you appreciate the others hard work for that day.
  14. Randomly give each other more hugs
  15. Find common ground (find something you enjoy doing together)
  16. Forgive each other more
  17. Apologize more
  18. Kiss more
  19. Massage each other
  20. Pray together and keep fighting to stay together

I believe every marriage is worth fighting for and while some have Biblical reasons for divorce, I still believe God can rescue every marriage if there are two willing people and sadly, that’s often not the case. Do not be fooled, if you are not willing to fight for your marriage, satan is. 

I challenge you this week to just try a few of these tips and see if there happens to be a difference in you and your spouse’s connection.