This song has helped me through so many tough times. First and for most, we need to be thankful to God up above for the air in our lungs. The creator and giver of life is worthy of all of our praise! God is great, what can I say? He has never let me down! So many times I have literally been drowning in darkness and God reached down and pulled me into his marvelous light. Every tear I have cried, God has heard. Soak in his goodness tonight and thank him for all that he has done!K.D. RUSSELL
You may want to grab a coffee and pull up a chair because this post will probably be a long one….
Crying out in the middle of the night, but you can not even make a sound. The tears begin to flow freely from your eyes, but deep inside you are numb. You feel as if you are in a crowded room screaming for help, but not one person can hear you. It’s the silent killer rearing its ugly head again.
You have no control over when the killer will hit you and just how far you will go.
I am talking about struggling with depression.
Depression sucks the very energy and life out of you. It consumes your thoughts every day and changes your whole outlook on life. How do I know you might ask? I know because I struggle daily from attacks from the silent killer, also known as depression. So fear not, you are not alone.
Depression is sneaky and likes to attach itself to you like a tick looking for a meal. You find no reason to have hope, you tend to push those that love you far away, and you can not figure out why you can’t just “snap out of it.”
Depression is one of my biggest struggles. There I said it, I will admit that the first step in overcoming any issue is to first admit that there is an issue. The weight of the world begins to drag you down so far that you do not see any light at the end of the tunnel. You are blindsided by the punches coming full force toward your life.
You are simply drowning and grasping at straws to find an anchor. So what do you do?
Countless times my husband has picked me up off of the floor and tried his very best to understand my thought process when I am depressed. But bless his heart, he just does not get it. I do not want to feel this way and that’s the thing, I don’t always feel like this….
The silent killer is not biased as to when or who it decides to strike next. It just stinking happens and usually at a crucial turning point in our lives. It makes me so angry because I simply can not control it and yes at times I can be a controlling person. In the aspect that I want to control situations and fix things that I know that I can’t. It is just so darn frustrating…
All the while I am thinking to myself that there has to be something wrong with me! I am a Christian role model, I am not supposed to be crying all the time and feeling sorry for myself, right? Wrong. So very wrong!
Depression does not care who you are.
It makes people feel alone, scared and hopeless. I had a heaviness like a thousand bricks on my shoulders and I felt as though I was wading in quicksand. All because I was trying to conquer this demon all…by…myself. Depression makes me hide my true feelings around the people that were closest to me. Often times I did not want to burden anyone with my problems. I did not for the life of me want to seem needy by any means. I didn’t want anyone to know my true battle. I know that all I wanted was some relief.
So how, how did I climb the mountain of depression and reach the other side?
I turned to the only thing that I knew could deliver me from the darkness. I put my trust and faith in God. Not only did I find refuge in him, but I decided to be open and honest about what I was feeling to those closest to me.
You need to have someone that you can simply talk to. Someone to just listen carefully, someone to just be there.
It truly helps to face that we all have bad days and sometimes bad thoughts that hang over our heads. It is ok to feel this way, you just have to know how to fight it! Now I am certainly not saying that depression leaves me alone now, but when I start to feel down and out, I use several of these scriptures to help get me through.
One thing I know for sure is that God is always on our side and he is a present help during trying times. So cast all of your cares upon him and hold your head up high, the help you need is on the way!
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and placed my feet upon a rock. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
~So please always remember that you are not alone and that you are an overcomer through Jesus Christ!
~You can not make it on your own, but with God on your side, you are victorious over every battle you may be facing, including depression.
A prayer for you today:
Dear heavenly father, we come to you today seeking your presence in our lives. Help us to focus our eyes on your face and trust and know that we are overcomers. Through you, our battle with depression is already won. You are the author and finisher of all things God and our story is not over. We love you and praise you Father for your everlasting love. Forgive us when we fail you, Amen.
Be blessed!K.D. RUSSELL
I truly believe that every single person has a story to tell. Not the story that you pretend to be a part of or the mask that you share with the world. But the pure, raw and unique story that you, like me, decide to hide. We all have flaws, imperfections and things that we flat out do not like to flaunt about ourselves. My goal in starting this blog is to inspire each person that decides to read, to embrace what makes you, you! Stop hiding from the world because you feel as if you have nothing to give. Struggles that we face, experiences that we go through, need to be shared! Life is tough and so many times I myself have even wanted to give up. I never actually thought that was possible for someone who claims to be a Christian, which I am, but life just gets ya down sometimes. I had an epiphany a few weeks ago while fishing with my children. I have two wonderful children, a girl, and a boy and we have just recently begun exploring the joys of fishing. My husband and I have awesome memories as children fishing with our families and we just decided one day that it was time to make the same memories with our own kiddos. It dawned on me after casting out my rod, that I was a lot like a bobber. I was being tossed into the deep lake of life and like a bobber, I could not seem to keep my head above the water. It was as though every single day I was being bitten like a worm on the end of a hook and pulled under from attacks from the enemy. I was hiding from family and very close friends my true self. All the emotions that had been built up from past and present situations that were out of my control, I buried deep within. I would walk around with my big ole’ fake smile like my life was perfect and it is so far from that. I needed to stop hiding. I needed to remove the mask that I had placed upon myself to seem as though I had everything all figured out.
The good, the bad and the ugly parts of me I began to share with my Sunday school class. I teach high school teenagers every week at my local church. Stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing my struggles with my class, has not only opened doors for them to share their struggles, but it has changed my life as well. Just like most wives and mothers, we compare ourselves so much to each other, that we are afraid to share what makes us vulnerable. We like to seem as though we have it all together. I for one will boldly shout that I am a hot mess 90% of the time. I wing it, everything that is. But God spoke so plainly to me about writing and starting a blog. I am terrified quite frankly, but I feel as though someone needs some inspiration. Someone needs to know that its ok to be a mess and to not have all the answers. You have no idea how many people that may be crying out for just one person to accept them for who they are. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. There is someone that has either gone through, is currently going through, or about to go through the same kind of storms you have been through. So there is no reason to hide. I know that the mundane of life can even bring you down. As a wife of 15 years and a mother to a 12-year-old and 8-year- old, I totally understand that we all wear many hats and sometimes we feel like our day to day lives have no meaning. But I am here to beg the differ. Keep on keeping on, shine that light from within, throw that mask off and just be you!K.D. RUSSELL
Everything changes when you realize that your deficiencies put you in good company. You may be looking at your life today and all you can focus on is your weaknesses. For some reason, it is so hard for us to see anything positive. We tend to look at everything negatively and let that consume our entire lives. One hundred people in a room could be telling you how beautiful you are and one person walks up to you and tells you that you are ugly and you would focus on the one. Instead of holding our heads up high and walking in who we are supposed to be, we are comparing our journey to everyone else around us, wanting to be just like them. What we have to understand is that God loves our weaknesses. For when we are weak, he is our strength. Our weaknesses are not by accident, God purposely uses each one of them to demonstrate his power through us. God is not impressed by self-sufficiency, he draws to the weak because they admit they need him. If every single person had the exact same strengths and weaknesses, we wouldn’t get anywhere in life. That is why God has a plan for each of us, a purpose that only we can conquer with our weaknesses. So tonight I challenge you to write down each of your strengths and weaknesses and thank God for making you the way that he did. Even when you do not see the path, he is making one.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11 But he said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
I am stepping out of my comfort zone and trusting that God has a plan to reach many wives and mothers that are struggling today. I will be sharing the good, the bad and the ugly, in hopes that someone somewhere can relate. So here goes nothing….K.D. RUSSELL