How to strive to become a Godly wife..

 What God says about Godly wives….

First and foremost I put in the title “strive” because we are to try our very best to be the best wives that we can. But we are not made perfect and therefore we are not perfect wives. But together with guidance from God’s word, we can “strive” to become better Godly wives. I have had the joy of knowing my husband for 24 years. We were the best of friends growing up and just knew when we became teens together that we were indeed soulmates. We have been together 17 of those 24 years and married for almost 15 of them. Together we have faced many obstacles in our lives and we truly know the only reason we are still together is through the love that God has given us for each other. The number one thing is to always put God first! No matter what you face in your marriage and I do mean no matter what, God can and will see you through it. But each of us plays a vital part in a marriage. Men have a role and women have a role. But only with God on your side will you actually succeed together as one.

So what exactly does God himself say in his word about Godly wives?

We find the first answer in Genesis 2:18-  The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The key word in this scripture is “helper”. God made man first (ADAM) and then made a woman (EVE) so that man would not be alone and he would have a “helpmate”. God intends for us to help our husbands become what God has planned for them to be. They need us to basically be a helping hand along the side of them. Together you will become “teammates”. See I know that my poor husband tries very hard to do things on his own but how many of you know they need our help lol! My husband will open our food pantry every morning looking for his oatmeal. I have told him a million times that it is in the container with the “blue” top. But every single morning he can not seem to find it. Shocker, right? So even as frustrated as I may get, I walk over and grab it for him. Yes, it gets on my everlasting nerve. But in all honesty, our poor husbands just need our help.

Secondly, we are called to” respect” our husbands. This is found in Ephesians 5:33 -However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. When you respect your husband, you value him, notice him, build him up, honor him, admire him, appreciate his commitment to you and you consider “his”needs. Yes, our husbands have needs just as we do. Underneath all that masculinity your husband is vulnerable too. As Godly wives, we need to be aware of our husband’s needs and strive to meet those needs each day. We need to communicate with our husbands about what their needs may be. Each person is different and has different needs of course, but just as we want our husbands to meet ours, we need to give the same to them. Communication is a must! You can not read each other’s minds. Bad communication leads to unhealthy marriages. So many people think that affairs happen because of sexual issues. I beg to differ, communication is the number one reason for divorce and unhealthy marriages. One or both people have needs that are not being met, so one or the other tries to fill that void with someone that will take the time to communicate and meet those needs. It takes baby steps of course, but by simply encouraging your husband and letting him know that his needs are valued can and will make a huge difference in your marriage.

Thirdly, LOVE your husband! In Titus 2:4  wives are called to “love their husbands”.  This kind of love in Titus is described as the kind of love in which we accept our husbands for who they are. We love them in spite of their flaws and everything about them that drives us nuts. I mean I know I also have issues that my husband does not like about me, but he loves me anyway. Neither one of us is perfect, so we need to love them no matter what. Additionally, love for your husband means being committed to having a healthy “sexual relationship” with them. I am not trying to be vulgar in anyway and I am not saying “love” is “sex”, but we have to look at how men are made and how God commands us to love our husbands. Sex was made by God himself for marriages, it is not something that should be taken lightly. Sex is very important in marriages! When a wife seems uninterested, resist intimacy with her husband and basically makes excuses not to fulfill this marriage need, men can feel rejected. Rejection does not feel good to anyone. It can cause your husband to question himself as a man, isolate himself from you, purposely not meet your needs because his are not being met, it just causes separation from each other. As Godly wives our husband’s sexual needs should be top priority above meal planning, house cleaning, having dinner cooked, activities, and our children’s needs. Yes, I said above our children’s needs. Love God, your husband, your children, family, and friends. Your husband’s needs should come above your children. For without him, your children would not even be here. Your husband is important too. I love my children with everything I have in me, but when they move out, It will be my husband and me here. I want us to have a healthy relationship that carries over. I totally understand that as a wife and mother we wear many hats and by the end of the day, we are tired from giving so much to everyone else. I am only saying that you must also have a hat that you wear only for your husband. Save some energy for him. Don’t just take my word for it, apply this to your marriage and watch and see how much more your husband will strive to meet your needs after his are being met too.

Last but not least, Submit to your husband. Now do not get your panties in a wad or crucify me for writing “submit”. I am not saying by any means that you are to bow down to your husband and do whatever he says to do. That is not what the bible means when it says to submit. We find in Colossians 3:18-19 –

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

This scripture is not saying that husbands should control their wives, even though I know some that take this scripture out of contents. Basically, you are teammates like I have said before. By submitting to your husband you recognize that he is the leader of your family and you respect his decisions. That does not mean that only he can make decisions, you should make them together. But you should respect his opinion in the decision-making process as well.

Above all else, each day “strive” to become a Godly wife by praying for your husband and asking God to lead and guide you. Only through your love for God can you take the first steps into becoming what God needs you to be for your husband. Each day try something new and together watch your relatonship grow.

Happy Tuesday Y’all!

K.D. RUSSELL