The silent killer…

You may want to grab a coffee and pull up a chair because this post will probably be a long one….

Crying out in the middle of the night, but you can not even make a sound. The tears begin to flow freely from your eyes, but deep inside you are numb. You feel as if you are in a crowded room screaming for help, but not one person can hear you. It’s the silent killer rearing its ugly head again.

You have no control over when the killer will hit you and just how far you will go.

I am talking about struggling with depression.

Depression sucks the very energy and life out of you. It consumes your thoughts every day and changes your whole outlook on life. How do I know you might ask? I know because I struggle daily from attacks from the silent killer, also known as depression. So fear not, you are not alone.

Depression is sneaky and likes to attach itself to you like a tick looking for a meal. You find no reason to have hope, you tend to push those that love you far away, and you can not figure out why you can’t just “snap out of it.”

Depression is one of my biggest struggles. There I said it, I will admit that the first step in overcoming any issue is to first admit that there is an issue. The weight of the world begins to drag you down so far that you do not see any light at the end of the tunnel. You are blindsided by the punches coming full force toward your life.

You are simply drowning and grasping at straws to find an anchor. So what do you do?

Countless times my husband has picked me up off of the floor and tried his very best to understand my thought process when I am depressed. But bless his heart, he just does not get it. I do not want to feel this way and that’s the thing, I don’t always feel like this….

The silent killer is not biased as to when or who it decides to strike next. It just stinking happens and usually at a crucial turning point in our lives. It makes me so angry because I simply can not control it and yes at times I can be a controlling person. In the aspect that I want to control situations and fix things that I know that I can’t. It is just so darn frustrating…

All the while I am thinking to myself that there has to be something wrong with me! I am a Christian role model, I am not supposed to be crying all the time and feeling sorry for myself, right? Wrong. So very wrong!

Depression does not care who you are.

It makes people feel alone, scared and hopeless. I had a heaviness like a thousand bricks on my shoulders and I felt as though I was wading in quicksand. All because I was trying to conquer this demon all…by…myself. Depression makes me hide my true feelings around the people that were closest to me. Often times I did not want to burden anyone with my problems. I did not for the life of me want to seem needy by any means. I didn’t want anyone to know my true battle. I know that all I wanted was some relief.

So how, how did I climb the mountain of depression and reach the other side?

I turned to the only thing that I knew could deliver me from the darkness. I put my trust and faith in God. Not only did I find refuge in him, but I decided to be open and honest about what I was feeling to those closest to me.

You need to have someone that you can simply talk to. Someone to just listen carefully, someone to just be there.

It truly helps to face that we all have bad days and sometimes bad thoughts that hang over our heads. It is ok to feel this way, you just have to know how to fight it! Now I am certainly not saying that depression leaves me alone now, but when I start to feel down and out, I use several of these scriptures to help get me through.

One thing I know for sure is that God is always on our side and he is a present help during trying times. So cast all of your cares upon him and hold your head up high, the help you need is on the way!

Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and placed my feet upon a rock. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.

Deuteronomy 31:8

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

~So please always remember that you are not alone and that you are an overcomer through Jesus Christ!

~You can not make it on your own, but with God on your side, you are victorious over every battle you may be facing, including depression. 

A prayer for you today:

Dear heavenly father, we come to you today seeking your presence in our lives. Help us to focus our eyes on your face and trust and know that we are overcomers. Through you, our battle with depression is already won. You are the author and finisher of all things God and our story is not over. We love you and praise you Father for your everlasting love. Forgive us when we fail you, Amen. 

Scriptures against the silent killer

Be blessed!